Today feels like the bleak winter I've been waiting for since December. It is cold because of the wind, and the precipitation that won't turn to snow because it's one degree too warm. I wore flats this morning, which I knew was a mistake before I even stepped off the front porch, and my toes are still attempting to thaw. Typically I'd bemoan this day, but as we have had a very spring-like winter thus far, I feel it's fair to allow the white season to come into its own a bit. Plus it's nice to hole up in the bungalow for a day, work on my query letter, hang out with the dog, be together without the TV on in the background. I like how the heat in our house is loud like white noise, it pumps all day because the wind blows through the drafty cracks in the house and the sounds make me want to fall asleep.
Yesterday we had nothing to do, so we cleaned a good bit, watched an episode of DOWNTON ABBEY, detailed our cars at the self cleaning station on Peter's Creek Parkway, and then had my sister's family over for dinner. I was reminded in their presence of the truth that to be known and loved is what we really want, thankful for their friendship - how they ask about the things that I really want to have asked even though they hurt, how she helped me clean up my dining room and let my massive moose-dog lick her baby's face without worrying about it, how our husbands stole away for an hour to play basketball (aka cultivate brotherhood), how we sat around in the end, as always, planning our trip to Paris (I have no clue what we'll talk about the day after we actually take this trip - perhaps plan for Istanbul?).
This Thursday Mark and I are flying to NYC for five days. FIVE WHOLE DAYS. We're going to see WICKED on Broadway, visiting the World Trade Center Memorial, walking on the Highline, taking five hundred photographs and having strangers snap a few more, eating a ghastly amount of irregular food, walking miles and miles, staying up late, spending money that we've been saving for this very trip for a year (how do you spell satisfaction?), probably laughing a good amount, sleeping a good amount and imbibing a good amount. After a long, exhausting several months, this trip is shouldering us in like a great big sofa and we can't wait. It was planned appropriately for this time of year, in the doldrums of late winter when the human race needs a shot of adrenaline in the arm to get through to warmer, longer days. Yes, New York will be quite a bit colder, but *I've got my love to keep me warm.
This is all coming together at this point: that these are blessings. I see that God, in his infinite wisdom, knows us and what we need. I'm thankful for that, and for this week, even though I'm tired. I have been wrestling with the command to "Delight yourself in the Lord," because I want the result and I know that the command is good, but I don't think I know HOW to act out this verb. I keep asking Him to HELP ME (the most commonly uttered words out of my mouth and pen), and perhaps existing in the awareness of these small blessings is the action.
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